But, anyway, the Dalai Lama is pretty much considered the most laid back bellybutton contemplater in the world. He's also all into that whole "peace and love to everyone, dawgs." And, he's pretty much the only person I believe when he says that. But, part of that may be because I am attracted to his robe, and I want to turn it into the most epic drapes possible (sort of a backwards Gone With the Wind thing).
So, I was thinking that there have to be some things that would make the Dalai Lama more epic and somehow give him more street cred. He's not Che Guevera after all, so he could definitely use more T-shirts with his face on them. Fuck, that was a hipster sort of thing to say, wasn't it?
So, without further ado here are the top five things that the Dalai Lama could do to become a more epic mofo:
1 - Have a reality T.V. show featuring Sarah Palin.
I really want to see how long it would take Mr. Lama to strangle that bitch. Of course, it's possible he'd ENJOY going wolf hunting in a helicopter.
2 - Leak a sex tape.
I'm not 100% sure who he'd be having sex with. Maybe Lady Gaga, or the Queen. Either way it would be more difficult to watch then Two Girls One Cup.
3 - Go to Rehab.
I could totally see His Holiness fucked up on heroin or something else that just mellows you out. I'm pretty sure Amy Winehouse would sing to him, too. Which would be really awesome.
4 - Release a rap album entitled "Imma slap China like I slap a bitch."
Snoop Dog would be all over this like R-Kelly's pee on that hooker. I would be happy to help him write the album too. The Dalai Lama could become the most famous Tibetan Rapper in the world.
I just remembered that I can never tell the difference between "raper" and "rapper" but they're not so different that I'm concerned about it.
