Why Dinosaurs should be allowed to run for President

Living in Utah sometimes means seeing strange things.  Polygamists, homeless people singing songs about the Mormon Temple on public transportation, families with 9 children who all have gigantic teeth, and prostitutes walking around downtown Salt Lake City that look like someone hit them in the face with a baseball bat and then tried to fix it with a rake.

Lately, though, I've been seeing signs for a Proposition in Utah that has something to do with funding a dinosaur museum.  Being the avid follower of awesome that I am, I immediately thought that it was actually a proposition that would either 1) legalize gay marriage for dinosaurs or 2) allow dinosaurs to run for president (despite what you may think neither John McCain nor Ronald Regan were dinosaurs, they were both mammals).

This got me thinking about WHY dinosaurs would be awesome in public office, specifically why they would be awesome as the President of the United States of America.

There is, obviously, only one dinosaur that is awesome enough to run for public office, and that is the T-Rex.  The Triceratops is like the Eeyore of the dinosaurs (sort of like John Kerry). A brontosaurus wouldn't fit in the Oval Office.  And pretty much every other dinosaur just isn't as fierce.

Now, onto the reasons we need to work on getting a dinosaur elected as president:

1) Peace talks would be more likely to end agreeably because T-Rex President would threaten to eat other politicians who don't toe the line.

2) If dinosaurs can run for public office there is no reason they can't serve in the army, making the army really awesome.

3) Congress would be scared to pass legislation that T-Rex President didn't like.

4) Dinosaurs are okay with abortions because they could eat them (coming up soon is "Why Abortions are Delicious").

5) Dinosaurs are much harder to assassinate then human presidents.