Rene Descartes

Since I am at war with Mr. Descartes, I figure I should give some rational basis for my wishing him to be annihilated.  I know I don't need to (if George W. Bush could put the U.S. at war with Iraq with no rational basis there is no reason that I, as a superior and more highly evolved being, cannot.  I just want to be better then George W. Bush).

• Cogito Ergo Sum - I think therefore I am

I hate Rene Descartes first and foremost for this, one of his most famous statements.  Think about it this way, I know lots of people who DON'T think things through, and I see people that do stupid ass things all the time, and I am pretty damn sure they exist.  People like rodeo cowboys/clowns, hipsters, M. Night Shaymalan, Republicans, and women with mustaches.

It's possible that they don't exist, but I think that would ultimately create more philosophical problems then it would solve.

So mostly, FUCK YOU Descartes for attempting to prove to me that some people don't exist.

• Analytic Geometry - The Cartesian Coordinate System

For a platypus I am a well educated individual.  If one can assume a B.S. in Anthropology is actually well educated, and I think there is some reason both for doubt and not doubting that is the case.  But this is one thing I can never forgive Rene Descartes for.  His coordinate system makes about as much sense as chimpanzee feces splatter on a picture of Lady Diana.

• Cartesian Doubt

This is the idea that we should through everything under the light of skepticism, even if it is absolutely absurd to do so.  In other words, Rene Descartes was bored one day contemplating his bellybutton lint (his abnormally shaped bellybutton gathered lots of lint) and he decided that he was going to have a thought experiment.

 I am usually a big fan of thought experiments they work well in cooking, theoretical physics, and writing.

Thought experiment:  If Rene Descartes was being dangled over a pit of firey burning lava and you had the choice to save him and in doing so you would save half the worlds population from starving to death for a day OR if you don't save him you will bring world peace and an end to world hunger.  What would you do?

I think I had a better point at some point.